Learning to Live
by superscar
Summary: Re-upload. MA. This is a little tale in which the virus stays consistent from DT to HG. In other words, Logan dies. [Story contains no Logan bashing, you can check if you don't believe me.] Author's Note added.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One:  
  
A/N: It has always bothered me that in Hello, Goodbye, they changed the nature of the virus. (they=the writers) A retro-virus targeted specifically to Logan's DNA is a danger to Max because it is specific to his DNA, not because she has anti-bodies to the virus. Joshua's blood should have been basically irrelevant when it came to helping Logan. Either that, or in changing the nature of the virus, he should have developed anti-bodies and been cured. The show wanted him alive, but still unable to touch Max, so neither of these things happened. So this story takes place assuming the virus never changed.  
  
"We don't belong with them, Max. We're a danger to them. When are you finally going to see that?" Alec took a drink as Logan approached.  
  
"Hey, guys, what's going on?" the older man asked.  
  
"Nothing," Max said immediately, blowing off Alec's words.  
  
"Yeah. Right. Nothing." Alec obviously couldn't get away from them fast enough.  
  
"What is it, Max?" Logan asked.  
  
"Nothing, I'm just tired. I've gotta go." Logan grabbed her arm as she tried to slip by. She gasped, sprang back, and they stared at each other as he crumpled to the floor.  
  
*****  
  
Afterwards, Max didn't move, merely watched as Alec rushed over, already on his cell phone calling for an ambulance.  
  
What could she do? Anything? What was going to happen? Looking at him through the window at Harbor Lights Hospital, her eyes blurred. She wanted to go to him, but couldn't -- tell him she loved him. He'd never heard her say the words. She wanted to thank him for making her care about other people and helping her family. But most of all she wanted to say she was sorry she'd killed him.  
  
Someone came up behind her.  
  
"I'm sorry, Max," Alec whispered. His words sent her over the edge. Tears slipped down her cheeks as her body was wracked with sobs.  
  
Alec pulled her into his arms, stroking her back. As the crying subsided, he let her go and looked into her eyes. "You have to be strong for him, Max. He isn't gone yet. We need to think."  
  
He grabbed a tissue and handed it to her. Blowing her nose, she began to feel better. Then the doctor came in and Max stepped away as the woman explained the situation.  
  
"I don't know what we can do. We think this is a mutation of a bio warfare agent. There's no known cure."  
  
Alec frowned. "Transgenics are immune to bio warfare," he said slowly, looking to Max for confirmation. Her eyes widened and or the first time that night she felt hope.  
  
"Could we do some kind of transfusion?" she asked.  
  
The doctor shook her head. "You would only re-infect him."  
  
"I'm not infected." Alec said, rolling up his left sleeve.  
  
"You're a transgenic?" the doctor asked.  
  
"X5, bred and born."  
  
The doctor looked a little flustered, but led him into Logan's room.  
  
"It's worth a try," she said.  
  
*****  
  
Alec took a seat. They pierced his arm and Manticore blood started to flow into Logan. He turned to give Max a reassuring smile through the glass, but she was looking at Logan. He followed her gaze and was surprised to see the man's eyelids flutter slightly.  
  
Logan slowly regained consciousness. "Alec?" he asked thickly.  
  
"Hey," Alec said. "I was worried you wouldn't be joining us. You're going to be fine. More of this good old transgenic blood and we might even get you walking."  
  
Logan rolled his eyes and whispered something.  
  
"What was that?" Alec asked.  
  
"Shut up, Alec." There was a slight smile on Logan's lips.  
  
"Sorry, Logan, talk comes free with the blood, two for one deal. Hey, check out the pretty girl looking at you."  
  
Logan turned his head and his lips formed 'Max.'  
  
"Now, she says she loves you. I don't know about you, but just knowing a girl like that loved ME would get me up and running in seconds."  
  
Logan's hand lashed out and grabbed Alec's with surprising strength, shocking the younger man into silence.  
  
"Take care of her." His grip was lessening but Alec didn't pull it away.  
  
"You can do it yourself," Alec said. "Just relax and get better."  
  
Max came through the door, staring at Logan in question. She stopped just short of touching him and threw Alec an appreciative smile.  
  
Suddenly, the EKG alarm went off.  
  
"NO!" Max shouted. "I LOVE YOU, Logan! Can you hear me?! I'M SORRY!"  
  
Doctors shoved her out of the way in a final attempt to save Logan Cale.  
  
Turning away, Max met Alec's embrace. Together they sat down, rocking back and forth as her grief penetrated his soul. Stroking her hair, he let her cry, knowing he'd trade places with the man on the table if that would make her stop. 


	2. 2

Learning to Live, Chapter Two  
  
When the room was silent, Max tugged on Alec's arm and she looked up at him.  
  
"Let's go," she whispered softly, struggling to stand up.  
  
Alec held her steady and stood himself, letting her lean against him as he put his arm around her shoulder. They walked out of the room slowly and down the hall in silence.  
  
Max was numb. She wasn't shaking or thinking.just walking, she just kept on walking.  
  
They were outside before Alec spoke, "Max, where's your bike?"  
  
She looked up at him, not really processing his words. What was he was asking her?  
  
"Where's your bike, Max?" Alec repeated, brushing her hair out of her eyes.  
  
The fog lifted from Max's consciousness as she frowned and nodded her head toward her bike. "Over there," she whispered.  
  
Alec turned in the direction she indicated as Max gasped. Someone was stealing her bike. Alec couldn't help but silently shake his head at the horrid luck of the young thief for he could surely be the poster child for Murphy's Law. Max was not in what one would call a good mood.  
  
"Hey, baby, nice bike!" Max called out to thief. The young man stopped, startled, then whistled appreciatively when he saw Max.  
  
Alec considered helping her out, but she didn't need it, and she certainly DID need distraction.  
  
"You want a real man, babe?" the thief asked Max, casting a disdainful glance at Alec.  
  
Then again, she might need a hand.  
  
"No, but you could do me a favor.and only take things that belong to you." The thief turned an alarmed eye back at the bike and grabbed for her. She caught his wrist and squeezed.  
  
"Look," she whispered tightly. "I am having a VERY bad day," she emphasized the words with a squeeze, "And if you don't leave this second, I promise you'll regret it.  
  
The man gulped and looked at Alec, as though he would dream of stopping Max in any circumstance, let alone this one. The theif backed off quickly, staring at the bruise growing on his arm.  
  
"Damn, man," the guy turned to Alec, "What can she do with her legs?"  
  
Alec's lips tightened and he grabbed the guy around the neck. "She told you to walk away," he snarled. He felt a hand on his shoulder as Max urged him to let her handle it.  
  
Reluctantly, he let go as the poor fool gasped for breath.  
  
Max didn't say a word, but she did accurately display one of her favorite things to do with her legs. Or, more precisely, her knee.  
  
Alec winced in sympathy, "Been there, man.you should be ok in a couple weeks."  
  
Max and Alec took off on her bike.  
  
Recklessly, they tore up the streets as Max tested the limits of her luck, maybe wanting it to end.  
  
Alec hung on, feeling her anger and pain as she drove. It seemed like they were at her apartment in moments.  
  
"Do you want me to leave, Max?" Alec asked softly.  
  
She shook her head and tried to speak, but her face crumpled. Helpless to do anything else, she walked into his arms.  
  
"I'm sorry, Max. I wanted to save him."  
  
Nodding against his chest, she whispered, "I kill everyone." He heard her, of course, and pulled away.  
  
"God, Max, it isn't your fault." Alec set her on the couch and took her hand between his.  
  
"I had so many warnings, Alec. I shouldn't have been around him, you were right.  
  
Alec's heart constricted at the look on her face. He had been right. Why did that make it feel so much worse?  
  
"You didn't know, Max, you did the best you could."  
  
"He would still be here if that were true."  
  
"He loved you, Max, he wouldn't have changed anything. I think he would have preferred this to a lifetime of being apart from you."  
  
"But we could have found a cure."  
  
"Max, Manticore knew what it was doing," he told her.  
  
Max closed her eyes, and fresh tears poured down her cheeks. "God, Alec, I let them win! They wanted him dead and he is." The look of despair on her face killed him and he didn't know what to say.  
  
"You brought them down, Max, they can't win anymore." It was partially true, at least.  
  
"I'm so tired, Alec. I've never felt this tired." She let go of his hand and slid down the couch, laying her head in his lap. He stroked her back with one hand and her hair with the other. This was both his dream and his nightmare. The last woman he had held in any way similar was Rachel and for a moment he tensed, but kept stroking Max as she drifted off into merciful sleep.  
  
Manticore was still causing pain for both of them. He didn't want to tell her that they'd won, but she had a point. Max and Logan had talked of nothing but beating the virus, but it beat them. Eyes Only was gone, just as Manticore wanted.  
  
Alec's eyes narrowed as he thought of something.  
  
Three hours later, Max started to stir and sat up in confusion.  
  
"Alec?" she asked, disoriented. Memories came flooding back to her and she sank back against the couch with the weight of them. "Logan." she whispered softly.  
  
"I have an idea, Max."  
  
She glanced at him, wondering what idea could possibly be important at this point, then frowning at the intense look on his face.  
  
"Manticore was trying to stop Eyes Only.what if that didn't happen?" Alec watched the wheels turn in her head.  
  
"So you're suggesting that we.?" her voice trailed off and she sounded hopeful for the first time since Alec's blood started flowing into the IV.  
  
Alec nodded in confirmation, "I think Logan would want us to continue the struggle." 


	3. 3

Learning to Live, Chapter 3 Notes: The only reason I am posting this here is for those that are M/L, but enjoy a good story regardless of the fact that this is M/A. If you are M/A, you should already have read this because it is posted at NWP: http://nunswithpens.hyperboards.com/ in its totality. Understood? Good.  
  
Onward:  
  
Original Cindy walked into the apartment to find Max and Alec on the couch staring at each other. She frowned and cleared her throat, "Am I interrupting something?"  
  
Both of them jumped and turned to stare at her, probably shocked she'd managed to sneak up on them. O.C. didn't really want to know what had distracted them that much. Well, that was a lie, she would give her left arm to find out. Max just looked at Alec sadly and he gestured for O.C. to join them.  
  
"Sit down, O.C.," Alec said quietly.  
  
Alarmed, she did as he suggested. What could have happened?  
  
Alec looked at Max and she shook her head, gesturing for him to do the talking.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he looked back at Cindy. "Logan touched Max's arm last night," he told her, "We couldn't do anything to save him."  
  
Cindy's face drained of color as she looked at Max. She rushed to the couch and pulled Max into her embrace. Max was crying, of course. Fresh tears ran down her face as her best friend learned what had happened and cried with her.  
  
Alec backed away from them, unsure what to do. He stood up nervously and edged away.  
  
"Where are you going?" Max pulled back from O.C. to ask the question, her voice panicked.  
  
Alec smiled reassuringly. "I'm going to head back to my place and change.and then you and I have planning to do."  
  
O.C. looked from one of her friends to the other, frowning. "What kind of planning?" She asked, coming up with no possible reason Max should do anything today but cry. Max nodded her head resolutely at Alec before turning to Original Cindy.  
  
"There were things Logan would have wanted done," she whispered. Her friend nodded, but was obviously still curious.  
  
"Well, I'll page you in a few hours, then." Alec took off, leaving Max alone with her best friend. Somehow, though, she still felt the void of his absence.  
  
"How are you doing, Boo?" O.C. was concerned for her, which made sense, she supposed.  
  
"I don't know," Max answered as truthfully as she could. "My whole.hope for the future was wrapped up in him. He was the best person I've ever known. For a few seconds, I will just feel numb, and then I have this painful explosion and remember what happened. It's like I can't breathe." Max closed her eyes. "I just want to forget what happened.and remember everything, all at the same time."  
  
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Boo, you know I have your back."  
  
"Alec was there.he understands pain better than you'd think."  
  
Cindy nodded, "I can see that about him. You don't blame him at all for this, do you?"  
  
Max sucked in her breath suddenly, never considering that aspect. If she had let Alec die, she might have been able to cure the virus.and Logan would be alive right now. "I.I." she couldn't make any sound come out of her mouth, but she shook her head furiously. "No, it was my fault. Alec didn't do anything.he even warned me. I couldn't have just let him die, how could I forgive myself for that?"  
  
"That's good, Boo, it ain't his fault.but you know, it ain't yours neither." O.C. could tell that Max wouldn't accept what she was saying. "You aren't Manticore, Max, you can't be blamed for their evil."  
  
"I knew, though, I KNEW what could happen, but I still took the risk. I couldn't even apologize." Max's voice trailed off as Cindy shook her.  
  
"No, Max, you aren't taking the blame for this. Logan touched you. It was his choice and a risk that he took himself, it has nothing to do with you."  
  
"I'm poison, Cindy," Max sighed. How many people needed to die before she accepted it? Her beeper rang.  
  
"Alec," she said softly, walking to the phone and dialing his cell phone.  
  
"That was fast," she said, looking at her watch. "There is no way you got back to your place and showered in like.fifteen minutes!"  
  
"Hah, I didn't. But I was thinking that I could call some people if you don't want to.you know, to let them know what happened."  
  
Max sighed in relief, "Yeah, thanks, that.would really help me out."  
  
"No problem, Max, I'll call you later."  
  
"Ok," she whispered, hanging up the phone.  
  
"What was that?" O.C. asked, suddenly curious about pretty much anything Alec said.  
  
"He's going to tell everyone we know for me," Max filled her in and sat back on the couch, leaning back and trying not to think, but not being able to stop it.  
  
O.C. just sat with her, saying nothing.  
  
***  
  
Alec hung up the phone and stared at it as he walked back to his place. His bike was still at Harbor Lights and he should probably grab that later on. He looked at his phone again and dialed a number, not looking forward to the call.  
  
"Yeah?" A sleepy voice answered after the third ring.  
  
"Asha?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah.Alec? It's like 4:00 am."  
  
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Asha, but I need to tell you something and I didn't think you would want me to hold off."  
  
"Ok, shoot." Asha sounded like she was starting to wake up. It was so tempting to not say anything, but she had to know what happened.  
  
"Logan grabbed Max's arm at Crash tonight.he died early this morning." Alec stopped talking and there was silence on the other end of the line before he could hear her begin to cry.  
  
"He.he's dead?"  
  
"Yeah, Asha, I am so sorry."  
  
"Did.did he know Max loved him?"  
  
Alec smiled slightly, Asha was a good kid. "Yeah, she told him, but he knew anyway." There was silence again.  
  
"I'm glad."  
  
"Are you going to be all right?" he asked.  
  
"I.don't know, but he wouldn't us to stop the fight because of him."  
  
Alec couldn't help smiling at that. "No. No, he wouldn't."  
  
"Look, Alec, I have to go.walk, or think.I can't believe he's gone."  
  
"I know what you mean. I can't either." The idea of it was surreal.  
  
"Well, if Max needs anything, I'm here for her." Asha was trying to downplay her own feelings for Logan, but Alec cut her off.  
  
"If YOU need anything, Asha, call me."  
  
"Thanks, Alec."  
  
"Talk to you later." He hung up the phone, not wanting to drag out the goodbye. He couldn't help shaking his head.how the hell he had gotten stuck being responsible for two grieving women, he would never know.  
  
It was still dark when he got to the apartment. He jumped in and out of the shower and then paged Max. She called back as he changing into black.  
  
"Ready?" he asked, answering the phone.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know," he was quick to assure her.  
  
"No, we have to do it. I'll pick you up soon."  
  
"Maybe we should take a car, actually, that's a lot of equipment."  
  
"What car?" Max asked, confused.  
  
Alec rolled his eyes, "Just come over, I'll take care of it."  
  
When Max arrived, Alec was standing in front of a large van.  
  
"Do I want to know where this came from?" Alec shook his head with a smile as Max climbed into the passenger side door. "Do you think we are good enough to be Eyes Only, Alec?"  
  
"We can try, Max, that's what Logan did." Max closed her eyes for a second. "Of course, if it doesn't work out, we can always fence his stuff for a fortune." Alec couldn't help grinning.  
  
Max couldn't help slapping him. 


	4. 4

Learning to Live, Chapter Four  
  
They parked the van outside of Logan's apartment building.  
  
"I can't believe we are coming here like this," Max whispered.  
  
"His family will just sell the equipment.and we don't want them to know he was Eyes Only," Alec pointed this out softly and Max nodded. "But I can go in alone if you want."  
  
"No," she shook her head, "I know where he has all of his papers too.and we need all of it."  
  
They got out of the van, climbing gear in hand.  
  
Fogle Towers. The first time she had been here, it was to get an expensive statue. Now she needed the computer equipment. Max couldn't help thinking that she was stealing again. Full circle.  
  
"He would want us to have it, Max." It was like Alec could read her mind.  
  
"I know," she whispered, "Let's go."  
  
They went through the familiar motions, going to Logan's apartment as though he was still alive. They didn't speak, each stuck in their memories of dropping in on Logan.  
  
Now, his Penthouse was empty. There was nothing that either of them could do to bring him back. Soon, his family would be here, taking his stuff and maybe finding out what it was the rich boy really did with his time.  
  
Unless someone else got there first.  
  
Max looked around the empty apartment, filled with the stagnant memory of the food they ate and the times she had felt at home here.  
  
Alec looked at the computer equipment with sadness, knowing that the man who seemed to know everything would not be back to make things better for the world. He and Max were two people, but could they do what Logan did? The thought, though brilliant, he smiled, was the most terrifying he'd ever come up with. How were two cat burglars going to take on the burden of society's conscience?  
  
Alec's phone rang and he muttered under his breath.  
  
"Hello?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Hi Alec, you busy?"  
  
"Oh, hey Asha." Max looked at him sharply and Alec almost laughed. They hadn't even started moving the hardware and Asha was already talking to him. He was getting more like Logan every second. he shuddered at the disturbing thought. Respect him? Yes. BE him? Hell, no. "No, not busy."  
  
Max rolled her eyes. Oh, obviously, he wasn't busy. They were only moving the entire electronic collection of Logan Cale.that wasn't at all time consuming. But of course, whatever Asha needs. Max went to a closet and started pulling out boxes for the computer stuff. There were a lot of boxes and it was a big closet.  
  
"How's Asha doing?" Max asked sweetly when Alec joined her.  
  
"Surviving, she is more concerned about you, though." Alec started kicking boxes toward the computer area and Max glared at him.  
  
"I'm sure she is. Would you cut it out?"  
  
"What?" he asked innocently, kicking another box over with the others.  
  
"Just start packing everything up."  
  
There was a lot of stuff. Logan's system was a beauty, it must have been nice being able to afford everything. Max started helping Alec after a bit, but midway through, Alec stopped packing.  
  
"What?" Max asked, wanting to get out of the apartment as soon as possible.  
  
"Do you know his password?" Alec turned to look at her and she cursed under her breath. Alec grinned. "That wasn't very nice, Maxie."  
  
"Shut up, Alec, is this going to mess up everything?" she bit her lip.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it, we can guess what it is, I'm sure."  
  
"Guess? You want to GUESS the Eyes Only password?" she asked, incredulous.  
  
"Well, there are only so many ways to spell MAX."  
  
Max rolled her eyes, "Spell PACK, we need to get out of here before his neighbors start waking up."  
  
They packed quickly.in the fully transgenic sense of the word.  
  
"So how are we going to get all this stuff out?" Alec asked when they were done.  
  
"Wasn't this YOUR idea?" Max asked, unable to believe he hadn't thought far enough ahead to figure out what to do.  
  
Alec smiled, "Oh yeah! Well, how about we take the elevator?"  
  
Max frowned. "But.there's a guard on duty down there."  
  
"So we'll distract him. If that doesn't work.well, I don't think he'll be what we'd call a threat."  
  
"There are probably cameras." Max pointed out.  
  
Alec made a face. "Well, you really want to repel up and down the building for the next couple hours?"  
  
"Ugh, no.why couldn't Logan live on the first floor?" Max asked in annoyance, stopping once she realized what she was saying. For a second, with Alec annoying the hell out of her, she had been able to forget, but not any more. The pain engulfed her again and she sunk into a chair.  
  
"Max?" Alec kneeled down in front of her. "Are you still with me?"  
  
She looked at him, but didn't see him as her eyes blurred. "I.he." she stopped trying to speak and lay her head in her hands. She felt his arms surround her as she cried again. She didn't remember ever crying so much and she wanted to get away from it, to not feel the pain that clawed at her heart and the guilt that it was all her fault. She wanted to think of something else. The new mission with Alec.being Eyes Only. Well, thinking of other things worked for a full two seconds.  
  
Alec interrupted Max's thoughts, "How well did Logan know the door man?"  
  
"Well, he never invited him up, how should I know?"  
  
"So Logan probably never even met him, he probably skipped the ground floor to get to parking, right?"  
  
"Right." Max had no idea where Alec was going with this.  
  
He smiled. "I have an idea, where's the phone?"  
  
The door man picked up the phone when it rang.  
  
"Fogle Towers."  
  
"This is the main floor, right?" said a male voice on the other end.  
  
"That's right, what can I do for you?"  
  
"Look, I need a favor, this is Logan Cale, in the Penthouse. I'm not sure I ever met you, did I?"  
  
"No, I don't think so, Mr. Cale."  
  
"Well, what's your name?"  
  
"Dale."  
  
"Ok, Dale, look, here's the deal. My girlfriend just packed up her stuff and wants to move out. I mean, I'm sure she'll be back, but you know women, if I act like I don't want her to go, she'll just get more determined to leave."  
  
Dale nodded to himself. He did, indeed, know women. Mr. Cale was continuing, though.  
  
"I figure if I help her out and act like a gentleman, she'll be back sooner. See what I'm saying?"  
  
"Yes, sir, but."  
  
"I thought you'd understand. Look, she'll be coming down to bring her car around, could you help us move her stuff into it?"  
  
"Oh.sure, no problem, sir." Dale wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but just moving boxes? That should be worth an extra tip.  
  
"Thanks, man, see you soon."  
  
Alec hung up the phone and raised and eyebrow at Max, who nodded in appreciation.  
  
"We just need to change clothes so he won't suspect anything."  
  
Max's heart clenched at the thought of wearing Logan's clothes, of smelling him all around her. Again, Alec rescued her.  
  
"You know, you could probably just pull on some cargo pants and would look normal."  
  
She sighed in relief, pants weren't a big deal. She slipped some on as Alec looked through Logan's shirts. It felt so wrong, somehow, to be looking through all his stuff.  
  
Alec turned towards her, "You look perfect," he commented, tossing her the keys.  
  
The girl who came down in the elevator was drop dead gorgeous, but looked like she had been crying. Dale supposed that was normal for a break up.  
  
"Can I help you with anything, ma'am?" he asked. Comfort? A hug? All his limbs?  
  
"Not right now, but when I bring back the car, I will really need you."  
  
Dale practically melted to the floor at her statement and waited in anticipation for her to come back with the car.  
  
The elevator dinged and another person walked out, sliding one of many boxes in front of the door. The man stood up and he looked like he had had a long day, with his shirt half tucked and unbuttoned, but he was obviously a man used to getting what he wanted. And considering the girl he had apparently gotten, there was probably reason the striking young man was used to it.  
  
"Dale?" he asked, holding out his hand.  
  
"Yeah," Dale found his tongue, pulling himself out of his amazement that he had never noticed such an extremely good looking couple in the building before.  
  
"I'm Logan Cale," Alec shook hands with the door man. "You have a dolly or something to make this easier? Women," he rolled his eyes, "Have so much crap."  
  
Dale pulled his hand away to find twenty bucks. He hurried to find the dolly.  
  
When he came back, the couple was already grabbing boxes and walking them out to the car. Looking out at the still dark sky, Dale frowned. "Wouldn't it be easier to just move out tomorrow morning?"  
  
Max stiffened and darted a look at Alec.  
  
"I have no idea, Dale, do women ever make sense?" Alec shrugged and looked back at Max expectantly.  
  
She glared at him, "I will never sleep in that bed again, now that I know you were there with that tramp!" Max turned on her heel and continued toward the van with her box.  
  
"Baby, I told you there is nothing between me and." Alec drew a blank on female names and said the first one that came to his head, "Asha."  
  
Max whirled around, "You can't even remember her NAME?!?" she nearly screeched. "You make me sick!" She stormed out the door.  
  
Alec turned to Dale, who was giving him a look of disappointment. "Dude, she's insane, I swear. I love her, I would never cheat on her. You want me to handle that?" Alec took the dolly out of Dale's hands and piled a few boxes on it, swinging it around and wheeling it through the doors as Max stomped in, glaring at him on her way in and grabbing another couple boxes. There was only one left since Alec had grabbed so many, so Max turned her big eyes at Dale.  
  
"Could you help me with this last box?" her eyelashes fluttered slightly and Dale found himself picking up her box moments later. It was pretty heavy, which surprised him, he was expecting clothes of some sort. She laughed adorably at the look on his face.  
  
"It is my grandmother's old record player.pre-pulse, obviously." Dale nodded in understanding, impressed that it still worked.  
  
At the van, Alec took the box out of Dale's hands and put it in the back of the van as Max shoved hers in as well, shutting the doors behind the boxes. Then Alec trapped her against the back of the van with his hands.  
  
"Sweetie, don't do this, please. You know me, I would never cheat on you."  
  
"Well, that's not what your friend Asha said," Max spat.  
  
"Asha is jealous of you, don't listen to her!"  
  
Dale suddenly realized that it probably wasn't appropriate to listen to this passionate display and turned around as Max told Alec to leave her alone and shoved him away, getting into the van.  
  
Alec followed Dale into the building as Max drove away, running his fingers through his hair.  
  
Dale was still giving him that disappointed look, like Alec had somehow failed him.  
  
"I DIDN'T cheat on her!" Alec insisted. "But thanks for your help, man, hopefully we'll be taking all that stuff back up tomorrow."  
  
"Well, I'm sure she'll come around, sir. She wouldn't be that angry if she didn't care."  
  
Alec nodded, stepping into the elevator. As the door closed, he thought about Dale's last comment. He had to laugh. If anger was a sign of caring, then Max must be in love with him! It wasn't a bad thought, that.  
  
Minutes later, Alec was back in black, opening the passenger side door of the van.  
  
"Dale thinks you'll be back." Alec commented cheekily.  
  
Max gave him a horrified look, "You were cheating on me!"  
  
"Baby, I would NEVER cheat on you!"  
  
The both burst into laughter.  
  
It felt good to laugh with Alec, Max hadn't laughed since.  
  
Alec noticed her face fall and knew what she was thinking about. He had loved to hear the sound of her laughter and he hoped she didn't feel guilty for her momentary happiness.  
  
"I'll always do this, won't I, Alec?" her voice was practically a murmur.  
  
"You'll always remember him, Max, but it won't always hurt like it does now."  
  
"Do you still hurt?" she asked softly, looking up at him as she broached the subject she sensed had been forbidden.  
  
He sucked in his breath, knowing what she was talking about. "Yes," he whispered.  
  
Her face crumpled, "I'm sorry, Alec." She reached out and embraced him as he had her and he let her. Sometimes the best way to receive comfort was to give it, Alec told himself has her arms embraced him softly.  
  
After awhile, Alec laughed softly and Max pulled back from him, confused.  
  
"What?" she asked, completely lost on what could be funny.  
  
"Well, we're in a stolen car with thousands of dollars worth of stolen computer equipment.and we're just sitting here in front of the building we robbed.you think maybe we should unload?"  
  
Max rolled her eyes, "Yeah, maybe."  
  
The drove to Alec's. 


	5. 5

Learning to Live  
  
By Amanda Freed  
  
Chapter Five:  
  
It didn't take long to set up Logan's massive computer system inside Alec's apartment, but it was surprising to both of them that it fit.  
  
"Ugh, we should have brought the desk while we were at it," Alec said in annoyance.  
  
"Why not the TV?" Max asked sarcastically, turning to find Alec wincing. "Like Dale would have let THAT go."  
  
"Oh, he would have believed anything you said," Alec turned to her with soulful eyes,"Can you help me?" he batted his eyelashes.  
  
Max grinned, "Maybe.but the TV would have been pushing it."  
  
Alec shrugged, "Fine.but it would have fenced for more money than we have."  
  
Max stopped smiling, "How are we going to finance this?"  
  
"Bad guys, Max. Bad guys like to finance Eyes Only." Alec brought up a valid point, which, while Logan may have been slightly uncomfortable with it, Max didn't really see the issue.  
  
Alec plugged in the last couple wires.  
  
"You ready for this?" he asked, turning on the system.  
  
As dreaded, the first thing to show up was PASSWORD. Alec typed in a three letter word that didn't work and turned to Max with a look of surprise.  
  
She smiled, "I knew it."  
  
Alec's eyes narrowed and he typed a four letter word. It, too, was denied, and he grinned at her. "Good news, it's not Asha either."  
  
She smacked him. "Maybe it is a random series of numbers."  
  
"Or letters," he added. "Or maybe." he typed something in, "Nope, ilovemax is out."  
  
She decided it was best to ignore him. "What time is it?" she asked.  
  
"7:15, why?"  
  
"I'll call Bling in an hour, he should be up by then. He might know the passwords."  
  
"Why don't YOU know the passwords?" Alec asked, truly curious.  
  
"I don't know.the computer was just always on when I came in, why would I ask?"  
  
Alec shrugged and started trying words. "Hey, when did he get this computer? That's probably when he set up the password, unless he was paranoid enough to change it daily."  
  
"I don't know, before we met," Max muttered. She tried not to think of the day they met, when she broke into his apartment as he recorded his broadcast.  
  
"Max.?" Alec's voice pierced through the haze of her memories and she looked at him, the concern was evident in his eyes. "We don't have to do this right now, we can just wait and call Bling."  
  
"No, Alec, we need to do this. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling, I would feel it anyway," she sighed, looking away. What kind of password would Logan use? "What about his parents' names? Birthday?"  
  
"Max, you need a break, we're going out," he pulled her to her feet. "We'll call Bling at 8:00 on the nose, but you need to think about something else."  
  
"I won't stop thinking about him just because we aren't trying to get his password."  
  
Alec smiled, "You don't have to. You're supposed to think about him."  
  
"Where are we going to go at 7:30?"  
  
"How about.breakfast.?"  
  
Max smiled slightly. "Ok, let's go."  
  
They went to a small, family owned restaurant that had probably seen its better days before the pulse.  
  
"I've never been here before," Max commented, looking around at the attempt at homey surroundings.  
  
"You'll love it," Alec promised as a large woman bustled out from the back.  
  
"Why, good morning, Alec, and who is your lovely lady friend?" the woman asked politely, smiling in Max's direction.  
  
"Good morning, Claudia, this is my friend, Max. Max, this is Claudia, who happens to be the best cook I know."  
  
Claudia blushed with pleasure at this flattery and Max eyed Alec with fascination. He was charming.who knew?  
  
"Well, what can I do for you kids today?" She gave them both a warm, genuine smile that made Max relax immediately.  
  
"Do you have a menu?" Max asked, looking around.  
  
Claudia smiled, "You just tell me what you want, sweetie, and I will get it for you."  
  
Max looked from Claudia to Alec, who raised his eyebrows and smiled.  
  
"See, I told you you'd like this place."  
  
"What are you going to have, Alec?" she asked, curious.  
  
"I am going to have whatever Claudia thinks is the very best." He turned a smile on the older woman and watched as it did its magic.  
  
Red faced, Claudia turned to Max, "And you, dear?"  
  
"I think Alec has the right idea, I'll have the same."  
  
Claudia smiled at them both and waddled back into the kitchen.  
  
Now alone, Max turned to Alec in shock.  
  
He laughed. "Max, POLITE is my middle name."  
  
"But.you were so.nice." Max sputtered.  
  
"People love me, Max."  
  
"Yeah, Normal."  
  
"You are actually the only one that doesn't," he gave her a cheesy, hurt look.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "I'm the only one you don't feed over the top flattery."  
  
"Oh, Claudia really is the best, I wasn't kidding."  
  
"We'll see soon enough."  
  
"So what really bothers you is that I don't give you over the top flattery, is that it? It's ok, you can say it."  
  
Max wondered how long it would take to beat that incorrigible grin off his face. It was certainly an experiment well worth her time. "I'm just the only person you don't have to lie to."  
  
"I could try it out, if you want," Alec suggested helpfully.  
  
"Yeah, we could really use some more dishonesty in our relationship," she rolled her eyes and her words played themselves back, "Friendship," she corrected hastily.  
  
"MmmHmm," Alec's eyes laughed at her.  
  
"Shut up, Alec," Max threw her napkin at him.  
  
Despite Alec's easy and teasing manner, he was on edge. He could give her a 45 minute break from the pain of her life and he didn't want to wreck it. He didn't want to say the wrong thing and make her remember why they were here. So far, it was working, and he was amazed. Sure, she had been amazed, annoyed and no doubt imagining his early demise inside her mind, but he had yet to see her eyes well up with tears and that distant, haunted look was nowhere to be seen. He glanced up at the clock on the wall, not wanting her to see him look at his watch. He didn't want to remind her, not in the twenty precious minutes they had left.  
  
Claudia came back from the kitchen, carrying heaping platters of omelets, toast, hash browns and pancakes smothered in fruit. One look at the plate before her and Max's chin dropped into her lap.  
  
Alec grinned and turned to Claudia, "You've outdone yourself again, I don't think I'll be able to drag Max out of here."  
  
Claudia smiled. "If you kids need anything else, just yell."  
  
"I don't think we'll need anything else in the next year or two, Claudia." Alec said with a smile, taking a bite and closing his eyes in delight.  
  
Claudia smiled happily and bounced back into the kitchen.  
  
Alec looked at Max, who was inhaling everything in front of her. He tried to smother his laugh.  
  
Max looked up, fork in her mouth and realized how she must look. She rolled her eyes. "Fine, you were right!" she said when she finished chewing. "Now, shut up, I'm eating!"  
  
Alec chuckled slightly, but took her example and cleaned his plate.  
  
By the time Claudia came back to check on them, both transgenics were leaning back in their seats, content. She raised her eyebrows when she saw they had managed to consume everything.  
  
"I.I've never seen anyone eat that much, so fast.in my life!" Claudia was amazed.  
  
"Hear that, Maxie? We're record holders."  
  
"You should see how high we can jump," Max commented dryly.  
  
Alec grinned, "I can't jump anywhere right now. Claudia, what do we owe you for that amazing feast?"  
  
"For you and the lovely lady, it's on the house," Claudia offered grandly.  
  
"All this?" Max asked incredulously.  
  
Claudia smiled, "I've been telling Alec to find a special girl, I'm just glad to see he's doing as I told him."  
  
Max couldn't help giving Alec a gloating grin. "None of the other girls he's brought here have been special?" she asked Claudia.  
  
Claudia raised her eyebrows. "He's never brought a girl here before. How did you two meet?"  
  
Max looked at Alec in surprise, he'd NEVER brought a girl here before?  
  
Alec answered Claudia's question, "Well, we went to the same school, back before the pulse, but we never met."  
  
Claudia's eyes sparkled, "I believe I asked how you met."  
  
"Oh, blind date." Alec said with a smile, looking at Max for confirmation of his slight fabrication. Set up as breeding partners, that was a blind date.Manticore style.  
  
"Love at first sight, then?" Claudia asked expectantly.  
  
Max and Alec couldn't help laughing.  
  
"No, we started off fighting, actually. She didn't like me for some reason," he shrugged self-consciously.  
  
"You didn't like Alec?" Claudia asked, clearly astounded.  
  
"Oh, don't worry, Claudia, everything worked out once she got to know me," he grinned.  
  
"Once I kicked his ass a few times," Max added.  
  
"Well, it was great to meet you, Max, I hope you come back!" Claudia smiled.  
  
"Oh, you can count on it," Max assured her, rising from her seat and noticing the clock for the first time. Her face fell and Alec noticed. He was afraid to turn his head, but he did. It was 7:58, he turned to meet Max's eyes and smiled reassuringly.  
  
"Claudia, we have to be going, but thank you so much for breakfast."  
  
"Oh, you're welcome, Alec, take care of this lovely girl."  
  
Alec smiled, "I'll do my best, Claudia."  
  
"Good boy, you kids run along now."  
  
As they exited the building, their smiles dropped from their faces and Alec handed Max his cell phone. It was 8:00. 


	6. 6

Learning to Live

A/N: If you would like to wait however many lifetimes it takes me to upload this entire fic again, be my guest. If, however, you would like to just read it, it can be found…along with its sequel…at Gumboot Mafia:  The name is scarlet, you can't miss it.

Chapter Six:

"Yo, Bling, this is Max." Max spoke into Alec's cell phone as they walked back to his apartment down the street. "Yeah…well, I've been better. I have some horrible news for you, actually, I don't really know how to say it. Logan died last night." Max closed her eyes as she said it and she felt Alec's arm go around her shoulder and pull her into his warmth. "I'm doing…fine, I guess…like I said, I've been better. Anyway, Bling, I need your help. I want to continue a certain…project of Logan's, I think you know what I'm talking about, but I don't know his passwords. Do you know what any of them are?" Max waited expectantly as Bling spoke, turning to look at Alec as they entered his apartment building and nodding as Bling spoke, though he obviously couldn't see her. "Thanks, Bling, that will help me out a lot."

They walked through the door to Alec's apartment as she said goodbye and hung up.

"There are four passwords. One to the computer, another to the informant net, another to everything relating to Eyes Only, and the last is to everything about transgenics." Max explained what Bling had told her.

"Ok…so does he know any of them or what?" Alec asked, impatient.

"Three." She said.

"_Which _Three?" he asked.

"All but transgenic." She answered, not knowing if that was good or bad.

Alec nodded, looking relieved. "Well, I think we know a thing or two about transgenics ourselves. So what are the passwords?"

"DISNEY opens up the computer." 

Alec opened his mouth to make fun of that, but wisely shut it again before she noticed.

Max typed in the first password and the computer went to the main operating system. 

She went to a folder simply marked "E."

"What's the password for that one?"

"DESTINY." She whispered. 

Alec thought he was going to vomit, but the moment passed without incident. "What's the informant net?" he asked. Right now it looked like they could broadcast…but they wouldn't have anything to broadcast if they didn't get the information…

"Shocking that they aren't 'go' 'fight' 'win.'" Alec stated before he could stop himself.

Max glared at him, not admitting what she thought of the passwords.

"It is actually, 'Maria.'" She stated.

"Really…" he said, "Who do you suppose _that _is?"

"It was his mother's middle name, Alec, now shut up." She typed in Maria and they were in.

"Damn…he was plugged in," was all Alec had to say as they looked through all the information on informants. 

"Sweet! Look at this," Alec pointed to the column on the right. 'Contact Info' and then underneath it, all the rows stated how Logan contacted each of them. "Most of these are electronic or by telephone." 

Max nodded, that was important. A lot of informants were sketchy about meeting with different point people. If Logan had never actually met with many of them, then they were pretty well off. They could take over and his informants would never know. 

There were a few, though, that they couldn't avoid. Like Matt Sung. That was going to be tricky.

"So…what do you want to do first?" Alec asked Max, hitting the down arrow to see all the sources Logan had. It was truly remarkable. 

Max shrugged, uncertain. "See what he has, I guess… Do you work today?" 

Alec nodded, yawning.

"You need sleep, Alec, go crash…I'll read some of this stuff and tell you about it later."

"Are you sure you don't need me?" he asked, uncertain.

"If I need a smart ass remark, I'll wake you up." She promised with a smile.

"Alright, but don't complain to me later."

"As long as you don't snore, I'll be fine." Max smiled to assure him she was fine and turned back to the informant net, reading all the information she could about the people, their positions, and most importantly, how they could help continue the movement Logan started.

Alec wanted to help her, but he was exhausted. He practically collapsed into his bed with a shout to wake him up in a couple hours.

So Max started reading, making notes and NOT thinking of Logan. Or was it thinking about Logan? Was there a difference anymore? She didn't know, she was almost to the point where she didn't care. She wished she could sleep like Alec, but she couldn't…so she kept on reading, hacking, looking at computer information she hadn't cared about since Manticore…ever, really. How could they pull this off without Logan? 

Logan… She was drawn into a whirlwind of thoughts, always leading back, inevitably, to Logan.

Max looked at the clock. In fifteen minutes, she could wake up Alec. It was amazing what a relief the thought was. She wouldn't have to be alone with her thoughts. Somehow, he would distract her. Max thought of their breakfast and smiled. She had actually had fun, if that was possible. For forty-five minutes, she hadn't thought of Logan, she had rested, relaxed with Alec with his friendly charm with Claudia and his constant chatter. 

Ten more minutes… Max started trying possible passwords for the transgenic section of Eyes Only.

Unable to stop herself from making a half grin, she tried, "ilovemax." It was a relief it didn't work, she would never want Alec to know she had actually tried it. She kept trying passwords. Max. Guevara. Manticore. Lydecker. X5452. 452. Zack.

And she was in. The password was ZACK?! Even when she typed it, she had been somewhat kidding, just trying to pass the time away. It became immediately clear why Zack was the password. Most of the early stuff on transgenics was about Zack. 

And this was, of course, BEFORE Zack tried to kill him…

5 minutes…oh, well, she could wake him up now. Max went into Alec's room where he was, thankfully, not snoring. He looked like a little boy when he slept, the innocence came back to his face as he relaxed.

"Alec." She whispered his name, "It's time to wake up." She shook his shoulder and he groaned, opening up one eye and pouting.

"Ma-ax…" he whined, flipping over.

"I got the password for the transgenic section…" she let her voice trail off. "I'll tell you what it is if you get your ass up." She walked out of the room and took a seat on the couch. Moments later, she heard him emerge. He plopped down on the couch next to 

Max and glowered at her expectantly.

She laughed. "Good morning, Sunshine." 

Alec's cell phone rang and he glared at it. "Hello." He growled. "Yeah, she's here. Bye."

Max raised her eyebrows in question.

"O.C., now tell me the password."

"Zack," Max answered.

"What about him?" Alec asked before bursting into laughter. "ZACK was the password?" He couldn't stop grinning all of a sudden. 

Max had never seen such an 180 degree mood swing. It alarmed her.

"You know, Max…are you sure you know everything about how things were with Logan and Zack…?" Alec asked impishly.

Max's eyes narrowed…no WONDER he seemed so ecstatic with the news.

"Shut up, Alec, go take a shower." 

He practically skipped to his towel. It was disgusting.

She made coffee while he was in the shower. He came out with a towel around his waste, still grinning like a madman. Max rolled her eyes as he went back to change for work.

As he emerged, there was a loud banging on the door.

"OPEN UP, THIS IS THE SECTOR POLICE!" 


	7. Author's Note

Author's Note:  
  
I am way too damn lazy to upload every single one of these stories, particularly the ones that are huge as hell. So this is basically a form letter to say the following:  
  
THIS STORY IS DONE JUST NOT HERE  
  
If you want to read the rest of this story, it can be found at Gumboot Mafia - the link to which is in my profile.  
  
There is a section there under Dark Angel fanfiction that mentions 'Scarlet' - that is me. My stories are there.  
  
Any issues, please contact me.  
  
Thank you and good night. 


End file.
